Essential Tools & Toys

Get ready with me

Get Ready || Tips & Tricks|| Fundamentals

Getting ready is half the fun. And I am hoping to start laying the foundations to our time together here, with the basics.

Many of you have done this course before so please feel free to add your thoughts in the comments. I am no guru, and I love to learn. So please feel free to teach me a thing or two - I would imagine we’ll all benefit from it.

But without further ado

The Fundamentals are showing up for Morning Pages, making time for yourself with The Artist Date and accepting a bit of magic in Synchronicity

Morning Pages

What? A notebook, a pen and three pages of stream-of-consciousness writing every day, ideally in the morning as you wake up. Please start these asap if you haven’t already. They are yours. Nobody else reads them. You don’t even have to read them, in fact it’s better if you don’t. There’s a moment later in the course where you can should you wish to. If you’re at a loss about what to write, I like to recount my dreams if I am able to recall them. Or if my thighs are still a little slippery from my late sessions the night before I’ll write out our time together. Which parts of my body still ache. Can I still smell his cologne. This usually kicks off another line of writing. Perhaps imagining what I’d like to happen next.

Follow the white rabbit. Always. Don’t ask questions just go.

When? It really is much better to do these in the morning. You’re still gearing up and your sub conscious is that much closer to the surface, but really just get them done every day. Three pages. Audit your sex toys. Recount the best head you’ve ever had. What did she taste like. There should be plenty of material right there, begging to be spilled.

How? There is no right or wrong way to do them, the point is that they get done, consistently.

Why? I call it ‘weeding the garden’ or shaking off the white noise. A way to get rid of all the superfluous fluff on the tip of your tongue or off the top of your head so you can uncover the Good Stuff. And they move mountains. The pages helped me prove to myself that I could make time every day, especially when I had convinced myself I had zero time for anything. They showed me that I could commit to something new, and that I had way more going on beneath the surface than I would have cared to admit. They continue to offer me clarity and courage.

The thing to remember here is it’s *progress not perfection* so if you miss a day or two, crack on.

The Artist Date

What? By far for me the most important and also (for me) the trickiest to get done. A date with yourself (by yourself), a date to thrill your inner artist (who tends to be frivolous and fun… so run with that). The date can be anything that makes your heart sing and probably makes your logical brain roll its eyes. Then you’re on the right track. Interested in shibari? Take yourself out to buy some rope. Think you might like to explore sensation play? Research this and set up your own self love session (would recommend glass toys for this, and lots of lube).

I would love to talk about these in the chat. What ideas you have had. Where you may be taking yourselves, your solo sessions. Share and we can inspire each other.

When? Once a week, for a few hours and ideally alone - but we will share some tips and hacks around doing this well if you’re in the thick of childcare, working full time or struggle to gift time to yourself

How? Finding things to do can be a big hurdle at the beginning especially if you’re not used t indulging yourself. There are plenty of tasks in the book that are designed to help you come up with some ideas that will excite you. Equally your ‘thing’ may not be someone else’s. We don’t yuck other people’s yums here. There is no right or wrong way to do and Artist’s Date, just do something. It should feel good. We’re after pleasure, not to make it feel like a chore. If you’re at a loss, make yourself cum in a new and interesting way. Take self portraits. Eat something glorious.

Why? Julia Cameron talks about these as ‘filling the well’, almost literally stocking up on new ideas, updating your sensory library, bringing in more inspiration and exploring more of what gets you excited, turned on, and in flow. Honestly, writing makes me wet. Creative flow access something primal in me. I have a similar feeling when shooting something I am really fucking into - this link is not accidental. Pay attention and tune in.

Making time for yourself every week to do something frivolous, self indulgent or even silly (I hope so, really it is liberating) can feel impossible in an overly scheduled, productivity-obsessed culture. Try to do it anyway. Even if you’re only managing short bursts at a time. Practice makes perfect, especially when learning to be ridiculous. Having fun when you fuck is imperative too. Try that first.

Synchronicity

Less of an action and more a term or idea to acquaint yourself with. This concept was first introduced by analytical psychologist Carl Jung, and holds that these events are “meaningful coincidences” if they occur with no causal relationship yet seem to be meaningfully related.

Or leap, and the net will appear…

Personally, I was really cynical about this and then almost in spite of that started to see coincidences and chance meetings popping up all over the place. It’s become a bit of a game for me. The trick, I think, is that this course helps us to pay more attention, be open, and we see opportunities we may have missed before.

This isn’t the same as manifestation, I am not professing this course will help you magic up your dream gig, find your perfect Dom(me) or grace you with multiple Os but it will help you figure out what you may want that dream gig to be, and give you some practical tools on how to go about getting it.

Questions? Drop them in the comments